You Don't Have to be Perfect to be Virtuous

Her children rise up & call her blessed

…Or, perhaps more fitting for my household, “Her children rise up and call her stressed.”

Between homeschooling, laundry, dishes, outdoor chores, keeping the toddler happy, baseball games and practices, meetings and events, house cleaning, church, and growing a human it is easy to become lost in the rush of life. Laundry baskets fill up right along with the sink and I start to drown underneath it all.

You get it, I’m sure, because you are right here floating in the same boat with me. We find ourselves going insane in an attempt to match our domestic skills (or lack thereof) to those of the mom posting Pinterest worthy photos of her home and little ones each day.

As if the millions of wives and mothers that I am already comparing myself to aren’t enough, I have found one more that we are all familiar with. She is not found on Pinterest, Facebook, or the row in front of me at church…I have found myself being the most envious of the woman I read about during my morning devotional time. She is found in the Book of Proverbs, Chapter 31. Proverbs 31- Mother's Day

Proverbs 31

I am not sure where King Lemuel found this woman he wrote so passionately about, but I wish she would come to my town to lead a good housekeeping, parenting, or young married couples course. Each day I find myself striving to be more like this woman. I try to be kind, gentle, forgiving, hardworking and strong for both my husband and my children, but I feel as if I always fall short.

One day I may be kind, but my strength may fail. On another day I give my time to the needy, but I take it away from my family. Sometimes I feel as though I have completely missed the mark in comparison to the woman of Proverbs. This is when I have to remember that this woman, as perfect as she may sound, was human too.

I am almost positive that if I could spend a day or two with her she would have her share of woes to tell. I bet she soaked her pillow with tears many nights wondering why she couldn’t live up to the expectations set by the woman who lived two houses down…all the while the woman two houses down was trying to live up to her.

“Who can find a virtuous woman? Her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

Are we being called out here? I say yes because our #1 ministry as wives and mothers is our family. Everything that we do affects them. We are to honor God by honoring our homes and the ones who live in it. That sounds super intimidating on the front end, but this ministry doesn’t rely on perfection.

The definition of virtue is not “doing everything right every time”, “having a spotless home”, or “having kids who shower consistently”. The definition is this, “behavior showing high moral standards”. Our ministry within our households thrives on imperfect effort, immeasurable love, and unwavering faith.

I have come to the realization that while I may not share all of the characteristics of this ideal woman 100% of the time (she probably didn’t exhibit them all of the time either) there is one trait that never wavers. This trait is found in verse 30 “But a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised”.

Proverbs 31 isn’t about a perfect woman, it is about a virtuous woman. A woman who had her heart set on God and gave her best in all that she did. With the fear of the Lord, I can finally overcome this feeling of inadequacy. I can begin to see that even the most virtuous woman can have uncombed hair, dishes in the sink, and tear stains on her pillow, but she has a happy family and a joyful heart:)