Being a mother is one of the most demanding (and rewarding) jobs on the planet. It requires constant selflessness and a ton of servitude. It can be quite discouraging when a mother sees other moms on social media rocking every aspect of their motherhood while she is struggling in the survival mode trenches and feeling like a complete hot mess mom.
It is so important for us, as mothers, to remember that none of us are perfect. None of us have it ALL together.
We each have our own strengths and our own weaknesses, but we most often choose to only share the strengths. I try my best to be transparent on this blog and on my social media accounts in order to make it clear that I am in the trenches just like you, but every now and then I get caught up in the game of perfection.
When I do post cute photos of my kids, a clean home, and a mama with a made up face and “real” clothes on…don’t be fooled into thinking that my life always looks this way. It might sometimes look as if I have it all together and my kids never sass. Don’t ever fall for that, because it just isn’t true. Sure, we love each other to pieces, we have some amazing days together, and I like to believe that I am doing a pretty decent job of raising them, BUT this mama is a hot mess, too!
Contrary to popular belief, there are NO perfect moms (or perfect kids)…anywhere…ever…and I want to share a couple of my hot mess mom moments with you.
Hello, My Name is Hot Mess.
Some days I just don’t know what to do with myself, y’all.
A few days ago, I skipped my daily cup of milk & honey coffee in order to sleep in a bit. That seemed like a pretty fair trade to me, but let me assure you, it was not…
Coffee, mama, don’t skip your coffee
My husband and I were able to sleep in until 8:30, crazy I know. Our one year old had been awake for a little bit. She played in her crib for about an hour while we started to get ready for church. The seven year old super son got himself dressed and he did an excellent job as long as you don’t count the casual grey harem style pants with shiny black dress shoes. It’s the effort that counts right?
My sweet husband went to get the toddler out of bed and discovered that she had blown out her diaper during the night. He cleaned up the first mess of the day and I dressed the mess maker just before leaving the house. We were running a little behind since we slept in so we pulled up to the drive through under a certain pair of arches that are synonymous with nutrition (ugh).
That is when I realized that I had, in fact, forgotten to brush my teeth. I didn’t want anyone at church to suffer with my morning breath through the typical Southern Baptist ‘greet your neighbor’ portion of church that we love…so we ate our “food” and made our way to the nearest gas station for a quick fix of minty fresh gum. Problem solved.
Yeah, well I’m just not one to be that simple. We made it to church, dropped the little one off in the nursery with a super sweet mommy friend and found our seats. We started to sing and I looked down at my belly that was bouncing because the little girl inside wanted to raise her ‘holy hands’ in worship…then I saw it…My shoes were on the wrong feet. I had these shoes on for over an hour and I didn’t notice that they were on wrong until we were surrounded by people. How do I manage this stuff? We can just chalk it all up to mom brain, right?
Motherhood is messy. And challenging. And Crazy. And sleepless. And giving. And still unbelievably beautiful. – Rachel Martin
Embrace the Hot Mess Moments
I love these beautiful, creative, and energetic little people in my life and I am learning to embrace all the crazy moments that they bring into my life…
Crazy moments like pouring toothpaste and baby powder on the bathroom floor as a “game” for mommy to play…
Eating charcoal in the 2.3 seconds that mommy’s back is turned…
Using mommy as a jungle gum without caring that the diaper on mommy’s face is in need of a change :/
Putting Barbie lip gloss on mommy with her new eye shadow brush while the pile of laundry laughs in the background… This photo shows me in all of my hot mess glory :/
Even though these sweet children of mine wear me out and steal my brain cells, I wouldn’t trade being their mama for anything in the world!
The life of a mother is a messy one, but it should not be joyless and you don’t have to go through the motions to get through it. You CAN embrace your hot mess mom name tag and love on those babies in the middle of the mess.
5 Ways to Embrace your Hot Mess Mom Moments
1. Stop comparing yourself to other moms.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
“Don’t compare your ‘behind the scenes’ to another mom’s highlight reel.”
We have all heard these phrases, but we don’t seem to take them as seriously as we should. When we compare ourselves to other mamas that we see on Facebook, Pinterest, and Instagram, we are robbing ourselves of finding joy within ourselves. Those mamas aren’t perfect and they have struggles just like you do…they just don’t post it on social media.
2. Take a breather.
When you feel overwhelmed or discouraged, just take a break. Pray, read, exercise, or just be still. Stop cleaning and over-analyzing. Just breathe and regroup.
3. Remember the wonder of childhood.
If you kiddos are being wild, making messes, being obnoxiously loud, or just pushing your buttons, take a second to remember what childhood was like for you. Reflect on the feelings of wonder and the way that you looked up to an important adult in your life. Did you want that adult to find joy & excitement in things that you loved? Did you want them to notice you? This is what your children are doing. They want to be seen and heard. Putting yourself in their shoes for a minute can really help to shift your perspective.
4. Do something for yourself.
When you are feeling extra overwhelmed and messy, go paint your nails or take a bubble bath while the kids are napping. Just take a few moments to refill your cup. This will help you to have renewed patience to deal with the messes as they come.
5. Realize that this is only a season.
This hot mess mom life doesn’t last forever. It is only a short season of your life. Take heart in knowing that you can relax a little and enjoy your children (messes and all) without committing to a lifetime of dry shampoo, cold coffee, and eye circles.
What are some of your hot mess mom moments? What do you to to embrace them?
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